


Promise

by Pyplup



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Character Death, M/M, don't let it scare you, kinda like a short less painful version of twist and shout
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-15
Updated: 2015-12-15
Packaged: 2018-05-06 21:04:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5430758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pyplup/pseuds/Pyplup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kinda a mix of the song Danny Boy and Twist and Shout (a destiel fanfic) only a lot less painful I think.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Promise

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Twist and Shout](https://archiveofourown.org/works/537876) by [gabriel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabriel/pseuds/gabriel), [standbyme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/standbyme/pseuds/standbyme). 



> So I needed to somehow get more emotion into my chorus solo so I figured what's better than fan fiction.  
> To really get why I did some of the stuff in there listen to "Oh Danny Boy" the Celtic song. 
> 
> (here's a good video) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DquA6KyHTos  
> (here's the lyrics) http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/celticwoman/dannyboy.html

   He never thought this would happen, not to them, never to them. Tears stream down his face as he watches Iwa pack only a few belongings. Neither of them have talked since the announcement, neither of them wanted to acknowledge it was real. As he stands in the doorway, his eyes puffy and nose running, he can tell Iwa was trying to hold together best he could. Whether it was for himself or for Oikawa, he didn't know.

   The sun was just rising, the birds were chirping, and the summer heat was starting to flow through the windows into their small apartment. The place itself was clean; everything was put away and nicely organized. Anything else and it bugged Iwa, so it of course also came to annoy Oikawa as time passed when things were out of place, although it was never something either really stressed about. On the table in the table they share, is a vase of roses, something Iwa had given him a while back when they had gotten in a fight. It was nothing big, just a small argument that got cleaned up quickly, but it seems so distant now.

   Iwa didn't pack much. A picture of them, a few clothes, a book, and a old journal Oikawa recognized as Iwa's father's. The picture that he packed was in a small frame, not well kept but certainly loved. It was of them when they had first started dating. He knew why Iwa was taking it, because Oikawa himself wouldn't even be there for him, so that shitty piece of paper would have to do. Oikawa was enraged at himself for this, he knew he didn't have a choice, but he still blamed himself. As Iwa started to close his small baggage, he turned to Oikawa, his mouth set in a pout that was obviously holding in a cry and eyes on the verge of tears, although Oikawa wasn't that much better.

   They stared at each other in silence, knowing they can't pretend the situation isn't real any longer. Oikawa slowly made his way over to Iwa, sniffling at least ten times on the way, and hugged him like his life depended on it, burrowing his face into Iwa's neck. As Iwa hugged him back, they stood there, still not saying a word, letting the tears speak for themselves.

   "Do you promise you'll write me Iwa-chan?" Oikawa muffled into Iwa's shoulder, barely audible through his hiccups and sniffles. Iwa's hoodie was warm and comforting. He could feel Iwa's deep breaths, they felt so calming. He wanted this to just stay. He didn't want Iwa to leave.

   "You know I will." Iwa reassured him. He rubbed slow, small circles on Oikawa's back, trying to calm him. He knew he couldn't hold himself together when Oikawa was sobbing into him. He was being held so tight it was almost hard to breath but his scent made his mind stop spinning, it grounded him. 

   "I love you Hajime, I love you so much." Oikawa choked out in between sobs. He can't believe this is actually happening. "I'm going to miss you so much."

   Iwa started to choke back the tears coming from his eyes and streaming down his face, and it was evident in his voice. "You mean the world to me Shittycawa, and I love you too, but don't act like we'll never see each other again." Iwa tried to convince him, although he had a hard time convincing himself. "I _will_ come back, I promise." Iwa moved away from Oikawa's embrace, forcing a smile on his face, still holding Oikawa's arms.

   "But Iwa-chan, what if something happens, I don't know wha-"   
  
   "You idiot, I'll be fine, I promise. It's only a few months, I will come back to you, I'll write to you, I'll call you if I can. I'll be fine." Iwa whispered, completely honest. He had almost no energy left from holding in the tears since the announcement. He doesn't know when he stopped holding them back, but they are now freely streaming down his face. He looked down to the ground, starting to sob. "I'll be fine."

   Oikawa held Iwa's hands in his and set their foreheads together. They were both so warm, both due to the heat of the summer mornings and the situation at hand. He could feel Iwa's sweat on his own skin but he didn't care, he just wanted to be there with him, to hold him, to never let him go. But of course, Iwa had to leave soon, and they couldn't stay there forever.

   They get into the car and turn on the AC. Oikawa doesn't turn the radio on as he drives like usual, and silence suffocates the car. Neither of them talk, waiting for the other to begin a conversation. Iwa looks over at Oikawa, his mouth open as he was about to say something, but he stops as he sees Oikawa vigorously wiping away tears.

   "Tooru-"

   "People _change_ when they leave to war Hajime. They change so much! _They change to the point they're not even a fraction of what they used to be_ , to a point where they're just a shell of someone they used to be. What if that happens to you, what if you come back and you don't love me anymore, Iwa I just can't-" Oikawa's shouting now and there are tears pouring out of his eyes. His grip on the wheel seems like he might break it and his knuckles are turning white as snow.

   "Oikawa, pull over-" Iwa tries to tell him as calmly as he can. This is hard on him too but he needs to hold together for Oikawa. He just said what's been in the back of his mind all this time. He's scared of it too, he never wants to become that, and he's so scared.

   " _I don't want to lose you!_ " Oikawa screamed. He pulls to the side of the road and with both elbows on the wheel he sobs into his hands. Usually he cares about how others see him, he'd never let anyone view him in this state, but he just can't hold it in.

   "You won't, I promise. I'll always think of you, and I'll do everything I can to come back to you the same as before." He took a shaky breath. "I'm scared too," he choked a bit. "I'm _so_ scared. I love you so much, I don't want to lose that and I'm so scared, but this is something I have to do, no matter how terrified I am." He rest his hand on Oikawa's shoulder, half to stable himself, and half to try and calm Oikawa.

   Oikawa slowly turned his head to look at Iwa. His eyes red and puffy, snot running down his face mixing with the tears, such an ugly mess but he didn't care. He saw the tears in Iwa's eyes, he felt both of them shaking, he could tell that Iwa really was just as scared if not more; and he had good reason to be.

   After a long drive, they arrive where Iwa needs to be dropped off. Although Iwa only had one small bag in the back seat, Oikawa got out to help him. They held each other one last time before he left, and kissed saying their good bye's and I love you's. No matter how scared both of them were, they tried their best to put on smiles for each other, trying to remember this isn't the last time they'll see each other.

 

* * *

 

   It's been months since Oikawa returned that day. The summer's gone, the roses once on the table perished and were tossed away in a fit of rage. The beautiful autumn passed, it's leaves slowly falling to the ground creating a display of orange, red, and yellow for all to see. Then the nice scarf and cardigan weather was gone and winter approached with snow burying the warm colors and bringing a cold calm.

   Oikawa still received letters from Iwa, but they became less and less frequent. No matter how much Iwa apologized for not writing, Oikawa still felt empty. Everyone tried to help cheer him up on holidays, and just the days that were worse than usual, but nothing quite helped. On Christmas, Iwa was able to call to wish him happy holidays, but was cut short, and only got to leave a short message. Everyday seemed the same. He'd go to college, then to work, then return home to an empty apartment.

   Everyday when he came home, he called out to let Iwa know he was home before he could realize that he wasn't there. Then, as routine goes, he'd check for letters, write back, watch television, possibly eat dinner, and then sleep in a bed that used to be theirs.

   Eventually, the letters just piled up at the door, texts got left unread, calls left unanswered. Concerned, Kuroo had left work to check up on him after he didn't answer 20 plus texts. He knocked on the door, eventually pounding, calling for Oikawa to let him in. After about 5 minutes of no response, he searched for a spare key and found one on top of the old wood door frame in the hall.

   He searched the bedroom almost right next to the entrance, there was nothing but clothes scattered on the floor and the occasional mess of sheets on the bed. He walked out into the silence of the apartment to see Oikawa laying on the ground, unconscious, and barely breathing.

   "The _fuck_ Tooru?! What happened, come on wake up dammit!" Kuroo screamed at Oikawa, eventually grabbing the cellphone out of his back pocket and calling for an ambulance.

   A day after, Iwa got a letter from Kuroo which worried him. It had neat handwriting, and was sent with the usual stamp that Oikawa would send with. As he opened the letter his heart stopped almost immediately when he saw the first two words, 'I'm sorry...' His face was as white as a ghost and he didn't notice himself but he was starting to shake with fear.

'Dear Iwaizumi,

   I'm sorry, I have some bad news. Oikawa is in the hospital. We found him on the floor unconscious, and barely breathing and took him to the hospital as soon as we could. He's alright now and is getting lots of visitors, and wow a lot of flowers, but they said he's probably not going to get better.-'

   Iwa paused, reading the last part over again before continuing. He doesn't start to process what he's reading but carries on with the letter anyways, needing know know what happened to Oikawa.

   '-The doctors said he has severe COPD, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. It blocks his airflow and makes it hard for him to breathe. It's not easy to write this, believe me, I don't want to be the one to give you this information, I can't imagine what it would be like getting it in your position, I'm sorry. The doctors said it's not curable, it can just be put off sort of. They don't know how long he will have with this since they don't know when it started. He could have very little time left or he could have years, but he wants to see you Iwa, really badly. He misses you, he wants you to know that, and he wants you to know he will wait for you to get back. He's really counting on you Iwaizumi, he's holding on for you. We all know you can get here for him, but he knows it the most. He believes in you, he loves you.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Kuroo Tetsurou'

   Iwa had tears streaming down his face, he felt guilty, like if he had been there to take care of Oikawa this wouldn't have happened. He sobs, shoulders shaking and body trembling. He knows he won't be back for another 3 months, but he needs to hang on for him.

 

* * *

 

 

   Days passed and the room filled with flowers of all different kinds, all the smells contrasting with the stark smell of the hospital. People came and went to visit Oikawa; telling him to feel better, even if they knew he wouldn't, and telling him that things will work out, the usual. Eventually the sound of the machines beeping became blurred out to him, just as background noise, but the IV in his arm was still uncomfortable. He had lost a large amount of weight in just the last few weeks, and was always dozing off but never actually got to sleep.

   Kuroo has been coming by daily after work and on his days off to just talk and sometimes write letters to Iwa for him. He'll also sneak him his favorite sweets like snickers or even milk bread (his favorite thing next to volleyball), while Kuroo snacks on a twix. They talk about things like memories from high school, funny stories, the latest book they read, or the most recent and upcoming topic in the news.

   Though he still missed Iwa a lot, for once there was a change in his life, but he felt it wasn't going to last too long. Every day, little by little, it got harder for him to breathe. Some days he'd have coughing fits that would feel like his chest got ripped apart. He knew he probably wouldn't live too much longer, but he knew he had to live long enough to see Hajime one more time. "I mean, we made a promise right?" Oikawa would say, giving a little laugh before it turned into another coughing fit.

   "Jesus christ, even on your death bed you still have the spirit to be so happy?" Kuroo said, mostly just to poke at him.

   "I mean I've got to have something right." Oikawa almost mumbled, more of a statement than a question.

   Oikawa being the flirt he is, did make lots of friends with the nurses and doctors. Lots of the female nurses would visit him just to talk while checking up on him. Sometimes they'd ask about him and he'd tell them about his brave and handsome boyfriend, and about his pretty eyes, and surprisingly soft hair, and they'd all giggle about how he'd describe the mysterious boyfriend. He'd also tell them about how he was so amazing at volleyball while he was in high school, and he'd talk about his cute little nephew who wasn't so little anymore, and the stories of how he was a "Grand King."

   One day, only a month and a half until Iwa was to come back, Oikawa asked for all the letters Iwa had sent him. He spent hours on hours rereading them over and over again, splashing tears all over the papers until the ink was too blurred to see, looking more and more saddened with every word. Eventually the nurses who weren't assigned to anyone at the moment all came into comfort him, and try and get him to talk about happy memories of Iwa, but he stayed silent except for his quiet sobs that shook his whole body. He knew he couldn't hang on much longer, he could feel it. He hated seeing the flowers in his room wilting just as he is. He hated thinking about never going back to their apartment with Iwa. He's been away from it for so long that he almost forgot all the details they put into it. The smell of Iwa when he'd walk in the door, or lay in bed. He's forgotten what it was like coming in after a stressful day just to be wrapped up by the love of his life, to hear the coffee being made in the morning, even the sound of Iwa's small snores every night that annoyed him so much. He'd forgotten everything that he used to have and didn't give a second glance. He misses it all so much, he misses Iwa. He would give anything to see him one more time, to smell him, to feel his inviting warmth, to hear his soothing voice.

   The day Iwa got back he immediately rushed to the hospital to find Oikawa's room. Sprinting as fast as he could, panting so hard his throat felt like it was ripped, he blurred past everything that didn't matter.  _Room 310, room 312, room 314, room 316,_  he counted as he looked for Oikawa's.  _Room 318!_ He immediately stopped at the door, and opened it as fast as humanly possible. Multiple nurses were in there taking care of wilted flowers and get well cards from everyone Oikawa and Oikawa's family knew. It was quiet as the nurses stared in shock at him and stopped tossing the flowers. Iwa's panting just being heard over the soft beep of the hospital machines and the murmur of conversations in other rooms. The strong smell of flowers was gone as they were now long dead, and the smell of cleanliness took over the room yet again.

   One of the nurses set down their trash can and slowly approached Iwa. "So you're the one he was always talking about." The redheaded nurse spoke in a gentle, soft voice. "I'm so sorry,-"

   Before the nurse could finish the sentence Iwa knew what she was going to say, he knew the words she was going to use. Tears flowed down his cheekbones down to his jawline and even past that. "He's.... gone." He said almost whispering. It wasn't a question, but it wasn't quite a statement either. More like he was trying to even tell himself, to make sure it was real.

   "Sir, I know it's hard, I'm so sorry," The second nurse continued, he set his trash can down too to try and help Iwa come to terms.

   After calming down some and talking to relatives, friends, and even some of the nurses that were close to Oikawa, he left to visit him. Before he went, he picked up a bouquet of lilacs and forget-me-nots, and grabbed his last letter to Oikawa from his bag. At his grave, there were dozens of other flowers there for him, roses, lilies, you name it. There were also gifts in memory of time people had with him. He laid down in the middle of the fairly fresh grave his note and the flowers. As he left he went over the letter in his head, crying as he went back home to the quiet, lonely apartment. He cleaned up some of the mess left by Oikawa before he went to the hospital that Kuroo had missed, but couldn't bring himself to really put things away.

   That night, his first night home, he sobbed in the bed that felt so empty and cold, yet smelled like Oikawa; like home. And as he fell asleep, or at least tried, he thought of his last letter that was stained with tears.

'Dear Oikawa,

   So you just couldn't wait for me, huh? I heard you were quite the flirt with the nurses too. Kuroo told me about all the memories you guys talked about. I can't believe we both had crushes on each other since we were kids and were too oblivious to tell until our second year of high school. I remember our first kiss, in the locker room when you asked to try my chapstick. You thought that was the smoothest move you ever pulled, I loved you so much even then. Even though I pretended to hate all of your cheesey pickup lines and "moves" I really thought they were cute. I remember how soft your hair is, even if it has 13 different types of product in it. I also remember when you cried at graduation, you were just so happy, I can't help but smile when I think of it. And then as soon as we could, we found an apartment and moved in together, the same apartment I'm writing this letter in. So much has happened in here. We danced to music on the radio at 3 in the morning because you didn't want to sleep, and then you sang to me the translation of one of the English songs that came on. We also had that dumb fight because I accidentally threw away your favorite alien documentary set and you were mad at me for like a week until I got you roses and a new alien documentary set and begged you to forgive me. Thinking about it now it was so small but at the time it felt like the world was going to end, I guess that's what happens, huh? And then I had to go to fight in the war, it was devastating. I missed you so much while I was gone. The photo I took just wasn't you, it didn't calm me down like you always did, it just made me homesick. I never stopped thinking of you while I was away. I watched others die and cry for those they loved and I hoped everyday that that wouldn't be me. And hey, would you look at that, it wasn't.

   I came back Oikawa, just like I promised. Not a shell of me, not a ghost of who I was, I came back. And I still love you with all my heart. I still miss you. Promise you'll wait for me this time Shittykawa. I'll be there soon enough.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Love Ya,

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Iwa' 

 


End file.
